If I know my followers as I think I do, you’ll like this book as much as I did. So many things to ring our personal bells.
ONE STOP WEST OF HINSDALE, by Valerie Kuhn Reid
I absolutely loved this book. I loved the total honesty of the content and I loved the author’s style. If I were still wearing my psychology-professor-hat I’d be suggesting it as supplementary reading. I even love the short chapters that made it easier to set it down when necessary even though I wanted to keep on turning pages. There are so many things that vibed with me, and I’ll mention some. But I ‘m careful not to give away important things that are more effectively discovered with an element of surprise. Here goes with just a few. There’s the importance of caring fathers in a girl/woman’s life, and the influence of the first few years of life in sealing some lifelong characteristics. I know too well the potentially confining superego of a Lutheran atmosphere and the related stoicism. (I’m personally happy for friends and therapy that helped relieve me of that restrictive tightness.) I know – and eventually taught – the depressing “Problem That Has No Name” that stunted the lives of women of our mothers’ generation for which the treatment varied from horrifying to stupid. I recognize the role-reversing protection of one’s mother. I have also seen the crazy-making of alcohol addiction in reaction to situational stress. I felt the intense sadness of a family torn apart and the relief of forgiveness. And I certainly identified with the salvation of owning a brain that needs feeding and activity. I feel that I really “know” the author now, and I can’t imagine that wouldn’t be true for anyone who chooses to read this book, which obviously I highly recommend.
My manuscript/memoir, A Healthy Woman Was a Crazy Person: A Psychologist’s Personal Journey, led me to a conclusion I hadn’t anticipated when I started writing. Remember how the recent decades of the quite successful women’s movement began with an exploration of “The problem that has no name?” Now many young men are facing their “problem that has no name.” as their previous primary relative position has fallen. The financial aspect is strikingly illustrated in the October 26, 2024 “New York Times,” article, They used to be ahead in the American Economy, Now they’re fallen behind, by Emily Badger, Robert Gebeloff, & Aatash Bhatic,
I have no doubt that relative deprivation contributed to the results of our recent election. I also know that we Americans tend to think in terms of “opposites” with the belief that “If one group is up, the other must be down.” I’ll stick my neck out and say I suspect that way of thinking has played a large part in the current movement to ban abortion just as it has in the various “isms” that separate us. But those role restrictions don’t have to prevail and trap anyone, no matter what their gender, in social prisons that deprive one of fulness of life.
I know, too, that while it isn’t making the headlines, there is major concern and research going on into the positive influences of generosity, gratitude, kindness, forgiveness, and related routes to happiness. Even local TV programming seems to make a point of at least one kindness story before signing off. To tell the truth, I think those are the strengths that will ultimately overcome the unhappiness, disappointment, and dissatisfaction so many of us are feeling.
Okay, so I’m talking like a Social Psychologist. Of course I am, That’s who I am! Glad of it, and aware that what we have to offer is powerful when heard.
I think I’m including the graphic illustration from the article to which I’ve been referring. That red line tells us something very important about where we need to go as a people. On the other hand the magic of the Internet might erase it from this document before it posts on my blog. If that happens, please Google the original article.
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