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I know. I’ve been off my blog for a long time now. Too many other things take priority. But I’ve just got to get this off my chest.

Our current U.S. administration is knowingly establishing a policy that’s guaranteed to cause mental health problems of the basically untreatable kind. It’s a policy no less damaging than would be deliberately exposing folks to e-coli, or similar toxins.

The latest declared intention – even action – to separate children from their parents as they arrive at our borders fails to recognize how essential constant relationships are to healthy development. Deliberate separation is a policy designed to cause adjustment disorder, including, among other things, poor social conscience – might I say sociopathy? At least interference with intellectual ability.

Possibly one can provide healthy nutrition, warmth, and even kindness, though even that deserves questioning. But it’s no substitute for the constant parental/child connection. And it’s no alleviation for the grief being imposed on both parents and children.

And then there are the reports of “lost track of” children. Where are they? How are they being protected from predators?

This separation policy is not just mean and cruel. It’s not just tragic in the intentional destruction of a human soul. It’s going to be very expensive for someone down the road.

Where are the protests against using children to fight the war?


I’m still taking time out from everything that can be postponed, including this blog, because   I’m finally approaching the end of the first draft of “My Father’s House.” But I wanted to quickly share my discovery of a new, brief, and lovely, “right on,” review of “Figs & Pomegranates & Special Cheeses.”

I don’t recognize the name of the reviewer, so I’ll take the opportunity to say thank you here to Beverly Clyde.

Try this link and go to “reviews.”




Posted February 21, 2018 by Mona Gustafson Affinito in Uncategorized


First of all I want to challenge the date I mentioned in the previous post. According to our guide, Muslims invaded India regularly to rape and pillage until 1142 when they decided to stay, destroyed churches and turned some to mosques. And that leads me to point out something about our first sightseeing day in Old Delhi. Right from the beginning there’s the evidence of a mix of religions — not just side by side, but seemingly more intimately connected than that in some cases.

I’m not sure it shows well in the photo, but monks were a common site wherever we went, including at the Gandhi memorial (below). look at the far end.

As the label of the photo indicates, Ghandi was assassinated  on January 3, 1948, shortly after he had accomplished his goal of independence for India.

Assasinated January 3, 1948

There is no doubt Ghandi is revered in India. Each person who did a presentation for us started out with the story of his accomplishments and assassination. In a later blog I’ll take you with me to the site where he was murdered.

Add to this memorial the statue in the same location.

Now on to our next experience. One advantage to being a real grownup is that I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do — well, mostly. Like I don’t have to do that scary thing of climbing long flights of stairs with no railing — unless I really want to reach the goal (In which case there were wonderful people ready to hold my hand.) In the following case, the goal was the Jama Masjid mosque. Karanveer, our guide, was good to me. He helped thread me through the crazy Indian traffic so I could get a photo of the mosque from the bottom of the steps. I left it up to the others to climb to the inside.

But I think I may have had the more memorable experience as someone else threaded me back to the bus so I got a photo of the mosque with a good view of the traffic.

As for the traffic, it’s no news to anyone else who has been there, but the fact is the roads are shared by cars, busses, bicycles, rickshaws, people, cows, motorized rickshaws, and dogs — many of who were sleeping in the middle of the road — all of whom seem to be going wherever and whenever they want to go. But they all survive. Even the cars seem dent free.

We figured out it’s a dance, the rules for which we are not familiar. But on another day, as I was trailing along with the group, following the leader across the street, there was suddenly at my right hand a car. I stopped and threw up my hands (like any good American would do, I guess) and I think the driver did the same. It dawned on me as I made it safely across the street that I had interrupted the dance. If I had just kept going at my pace there would have been plenty of room behind me for the car.

That wasn’t the end of our days adventure. There’s a rickshaw ride to come. But I’m ready for bed now, so that story will have to wait for my next entry.

NAMASTE   11 comments

Namaste: the divine presence in me acknowledges the divine presence in you — hands pressed together with a bow.

Such a beautiful greeting, and such beautiful people to greet. I wish everyone could travel and discover there really is no “other.”

One of our earliest stops was the Qumwat-ul-Islam Mosque in Delhi.

I won’t risk reporting too much history — definitely not one of my strengths — but according to our guide, the Muslims decided somewhere around the eighth century to go beyond plundering forays into India and just move in. One of the fascinating things to observe is the apparent intertwining of Hinduism and Buddhism. In the beginning, rather than a military effort to replace Hinduism, Muslim invaders appealed to what seems to be partial conversion, or  a comfortable blending, with individual differences, of dedication to Hinduism and Buddhism. So it was that we spent time appreciating the sites representing both religions — sometimes, it seemed, at the same time.

Notice the “namaste” greeting in this photo as we first entered the Mosque. And that’s where it started — selfies with Mona. Apparently the Indians like little old American ladies. It started with a group of young people, but soon there were groups wanting selfies with me. Thanks to David Osmundson, one of the members of our delightful Smithsonian group, I have this photo of folks taking photos. Oh my goodness, aren’t they beautiful?

Off to the right of this photo, another woman in our company was entertaining her own group asking to be photographed with her.

But it didn’t  end there. Joyce and I found a quiet place to sit while the photographers among us were exploring possibilities. Again, it began with the young folks, but grew to a regular stream. I did get one man to take a photo on my camera so I could have a record of the love and joy I felt.

And besides. It proves I was there.

There’s more. Doug just sent me a few from his camera. Raw and unedited, so a real gift from him who is so professional.

Now I’ve started. I hope it won’t be too long before I’m back with more for our fabulous days in India and Nepal




Now to begin sharing some of my fabulous India/Nepal adventure with you, as I did with a wonderful group of people on a busy,strenuous, well-worth-it Smithsonian tour of India with a few days of Nepal added.

I’m starting with these amazing photos taken and shared by Richard Buchen, our librarian member. I asked his permission to include them here because they are beautiful in themselves and they tell so much.

In Varanasi we witnessed Diwali at the height of its glory and beauty from a boat on the Ganges. This Hindu celebration of light, representing the victory of good over evil, shines like a combination of Christmas, New Year’s Eve, The Fourth of July, and every other holiday we honor in the U.S.  It also brings out the crowds that vastly outdo most of those we might expect in the States.

These two photos shared by Richard are alive with the spirit as we floated down the river in the brightly lighted night as Ganga, the living goddess of the Ganges. ruled over the scene.

To her right reigns Shiva, the destroyer of evil and the transformer, responsible for change through destruction and new creation.

Richard invites you to enjoy some of his other photos.

And I’ll be back with more words and photos.


I’m finally up and running, so to speak, ready to fulfil my intention of apologizing for my absence and beginning to share my report of a fabulous trip to India and Nepal.

And yes, I do apologize to all who have hoped for and expected a response from me at the various sites to which I’m connected. I did indeed take an almost total vacation from all that as I enjoyed a life changing, life-enhancing trip to India and Nepal.

But something more urgent has come up that I need to comment on. I am both sickened and heartened by the tsunami of reports on sexual harassment. Maybe this time we’ll leap toward a more respectful culture.

I hope, though, that we won’t allow ourselves to think these things are going on only among certain groups of powerful people. This time, maybe we’ll be able to push our awareness back to the source – at least as far back as Junior High.

Maybe you’ll respond by telling me I’m lost in old fashioned issues that no longer prevail. If that’s true, then I’ll take some belated credit for the work we did in the women’s studies programs back in the 70s.

Let me explain by telling a couple of stories.

There was the day when a student in the back of the class asked me to define “rape.” “It’s whatever you do after she says ‘no,’” I said, always preferring the short, provocative answer. “Then I guess there’s a lot of rape going on in the High School parking lot on Friday nights,” he sneered, to affirming giggles of those around him.

I know he wasn’t far from wrong. I know the culture reflected in my own behavior at my 35th high school reunion when we were greeting each other with friendly and respectful shared kisses until one classmate thrust his tongue into my mouth. I didn’t go “Ugh, gag, gross!, ichy.” No, I discreetly wiped my mouth and went on with the conversation – couldn’t hurt his feelings and make a scene, you know.

Or the colleague celebrating his promotion who came into my office, closed the door, and grabbed my breast. Gently, so as not to embarrass him (It was a stupid thing to do, after all) I removed his hands and proceeded with conversation.

In neither of those cases did the offender have any kind of structural power over me. It was culture at work.

Just as it probably was at the same time with the teenage girl in the high school parking lot uncomfortably accepting the guilt when her date complained about her teasing. “You can’t stop now after you got me all worked up.”

The writer’s rule is “show, don’t tell.” But I’ll bet we could have a great go-round discussing the complexities involved in those stories.

Now, as they used to say on SNL, “Discuss among yourselves.”

My hope is that today’s issues will promote another leap forward in the honoring of respect and honesty.

ONLY 99 CENTS   Leave a comment

I just noticed that is selling “Figs & Pomegranates & Special Cheeses” Kindle edition for $0.99. Now’s the time to grab a bargain. You might even like it well enough to tell a friend, or write a review.

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