I’m thinking of reviving this topic which at one point was a hit in Connecticut — bumper stickers, T-shirts, and all.
Now I’m looking for reactions. I’m going to leave this post up for a while, hoping lots of you will respond telling me what it means to you. That will help me know whether I should revive it, and if so what can I expect it will mean to you.
In other words, I’m looking for advice.
The expression “just a theory” gives me chills. It implies that whatever is being referred to is just some off the top of the head conjecture. As a matter of fact, for scientists, the term “theory” is an honorific applied only to a well verified collection of data which lead to further exploration and experimentation. The only superior term for scientists is “law,” as in Newton’s Law of Gravity. The most important thing about the word “law” is that it leads to further testing and further discoveries which might lead to modification of the original law while adding to new knowledge. The same is true for theory. Theory and Law are the strongest bases for using our God-given intellect and curiosity to learn ever more about God’s creation.
Personally, I have a hard time with the belief that we should somehow ignore that major part of who we are. As in the story of Job, we overstep our bounds when we decide we know more than the creator and should stop at some human-defined doorway and go no further in learning about the gift of the universe.
Maybe it’s better said by the United States National Academy of Sciences.
“Some scientific explanations are so well established that no new evidence is likely to alter them. The explanation becomes a scientific theory. In everyday language a theory means a hunch or speculation. Not so in science. In science,the word theory refers to a comprehensive explanation of an important feature of nature that is supported by many facts gathered over time. Theories also allow scientists to make predictions about as yet unobserved phenomena.”
Theory, as in the theory of evolution, depends on the glorious gift of curiosity, exploration, and understanding with which humans have been endowed.
Or maybe Bill Nye the Science Guy, says it better.
Today I’m adding the final bulleted suggestions on helping someone decide how to handle a forgiveness issue. All are from pages 4-5 of When to Forgive . Please remember, this is not about a command to forgive. Telling someone to forgive is dangerous. It might result in a quick recitation of “I forgive” without the hard work behind it and accomplishment of the real and important gains of a good forgiveness decision. Shame might be added to the pain of suffering an offense if the victim believes in the “ought to forgive” and can’t. That’s the hazard of sermons — religious or otherwise — that tell the sufferer he or she must forgive. Realistically there may be actions the sufferer must take before genuine forgiveness. Or, it’s even possible that the sufferer might be better off choosing not to forgive. “When to Forgive” is about making and carrying out a decision after careful thought and work.
So, here goes,the final complete list of what you might do to help someone trying to deal with the pain of an offense as he or she considers the forgiveness option.
I confess, I’m pro-life. Therefore I’m pro-choice; pro Planned Parenthood; pro-gun control; anti-death penalty; pro habeas corpus; pro universal health care; pro caring for the environment; anti-war; pro-diplomacy; pro equalizing education opportunities; pro caring for our national and local infrastructure; pro Public Radio; pro being an informed voter; pro a rational and humane immigration policy. Also I’m pro separation of church and state; anti-torture; pro promoting the general welfare (see preamble to the constitution of the United States); pro equality for women; pro protecting the vulnerable, pro recognizing that “defense” and “war” are not synonyms.
Obviously I’m an idealistic dreamer. Still, I’d love to see the positions of all candidates for public office on health care, gun control. response to climate change, repairing the infrastructure, torture — i.e. all of the above. Hint: I don’t consider it a “position” to rant against the stance of one’s opponents no matter which side one is on.
OK. Tomorrow it’ll be back to business –Helping with Forgiveness Decisions.
Today I’m adding the third bullet to the guides for someone who’s trying to help a friend or acquaintance work through the issue of whether and how to forgive. Maybe to get oriented, you might want to read the blog from two days ago.
Following are the first three suggestions for the helper from pages 4-5 of When to Forgive..
Over the next few days I’ll be adding more bullet points. In the meantime, I’d love some feedback. Examples of helping or being helped would be wonderful.
Today I’m adding the second bullet to the guides for someone who’s trying to help a friend or acquaintance work through the issue of whether and how to forgive. Maybe to get oriented, you might want to read yesterday’s blog.
Following are the first two suggestions for the helper from pages 4-5 of When to Forgive..
Over the next few days I’ll be adding more bullet points. In the meantime, I’d love some feedback. Examples of helping or being helped would be wonderful.
I’ve been so wrapped up in Mrs. Job lately that It’s been a while since I wrote about forgiveness, still one of my favorite concerns. So, I’m starting a series based on pages 4-5 of When to Forgive. This is what I said under the section “Welcoming a Friend,” speaking to the person who has suffered an offense and is working toward making a forgiveness decision.
“You may want to invite a friend to accompany you on this journey. Someone you trust and who knows you and your situation well can ease the pain along the way while offering helpful insights. If you wish to share this book with a friend, the following advice is specifically for your companion.
• Be a good listener. Telling his or her own story is absolutely crucial to a person’s recovery from the effects of an offense. Encourage giving details, but don’t press your own advice or suggestions. Ask questions that encourage going into depth, but be sensitive to the person’s own self-regulating system. Don’t push beyond what he or she is ready to report. There are situations of extreme trauma where the victim is better off not remembering what happened.”
Over the next few days I’ll be adding 6 more bullet points. In the meantime, I’d love some feedback. Examples of helping or being helped would be wonderful.
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