Archive for August 11, 2012

ADVICE TO A HELPING FRIEND   1 comment

I’ve been so wrapped up in Mrs. Job lately that It’s been a while since I wrote about forgiveness, still one of my favorite concerns. So, I’m starting a series based on pages 4-5 of When to Forgive. This is what I said under the section “Welcoming a Friend,” speaking to the person who has suffered an offense and is working toward making a forgiveness decision.

“You may want to invite a friend to accompany you on this journey. Someone you trust and who knows you and your situation well can ease the pain along the way while offering helpful insights. If you wish to share this book with a friend, the following advice is specifically for your companion.

• Be a good listener. Telling his or her own story is absolutely crucial to a person’s recovery from the effects of an offense. Encourage giving details, but don’t press your own advice or suggestions. Ask questions that encourage going into depth, but be sensitive to the person’s own self-regulating system. Don’t push beyond what he or she is ready to report. There are situations of extreme trauma where the victim is better off not remembering what happened.”

Over the next few days I’ll be adding 6 more bullet points. In the meantime, I’d love some feedback. Examples of helping or being helped would be wonderful.

Posted August 11, 2012 by Mona Gustafson Affinito in Uncategorized

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