SO, WHERE HAVE I BEEN?   18 comments

I’ve been chasing my tail, but I did catch part of it.

To tell the truth, I had thought I’d take the challenge of writing a blog entry every day, but it just didn’t work out.

Most recently I’ve finished a project called “If Mona Dies.” Yes, I got that from my big brother who did just that in 1998. but his humor stays with me.

What’s that? Well, I’ve been pulling together into one folder all the stuff my family needs to know “if I die” or become incapacitated. I had no idea what I was getting into. My life is just not that complicated, but it would be if someone else had to straighten out the pieces.

Don’t be alarmed. This is not an announcement. I’m planning on hanging around for at least another 20 years, but I remember what a blessing it was when my mother died with everything taken care of. All we needed to do was give away most of her stuff to the nursing home and take home a few small mementos. (a clock and a small leather change purse.) The rest had all been spelled out in the appropriate legal documents. Time to bid goodbye without frazzlement. (I know that’s not a real word, but it says what I mean.)

I want things to be as close as possible to that simplicity.

And I am grateful that I have this problem. Just as my hot morning shower reminds me of people who are deprived of that opportunity, so this activity reminds me how fortunate I am to have a home and all the stuff that’s in it.

Other things have been going on too. I’ve been teaching a course on forgiveness to an absolutely wonderful group of people at Mt. Calvary Lutheran Church in Excelsior. I’m still working at finding a new publisher for “Mrs. Job” or whoever she might become. And I’m still gathering data needed to write “My Father’s House.”

Oh, and in between, real life goes on.

My request to you. Please forgive me for failing to follow through on blog events.

18 responses to “SO, WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

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  1. You are amazing!!

  2. I wouldn’t consider it perfect timing but I have been pondering lately on what if Al dies before me, or what if I die and no one knows until a delivery man comes to the door. It feels odd and sometimes fearful when I think of how responsible I am for a sick person. What if the tables were turned and it was me who became ill. Would anyone on WP notice? What about FB? Maybe, but then again how would they contact me to find out. I could lay out cold or worse here before help would arrive. I am not quiet sure how to deal with this. Two of my kids live a way, one of them lives near but only comes around when I have something he needs. I know I am stressing over non-stressful events, but my concern is for Al. When I think clearly of fog I realize God will deal with it all, but hey, I’m human and my mind wanders

    • Terry, I so understand your concern, one shared, or should be shared, by everyone who lives alone. There is a bottom line rule of therapy (as I see you regularly practicing in so any ways as you care for Al) – do something to take control. like maybe getting one of those buttons you can wear around your neck. I don’t know what would be good for you, but I know you’ll feel better if you do something that gives you peace of mind.

      Clearly you don’t have the time to embark on the kind of detailed project I’ve just completed. There’s time for that later, but just something to reassure you someone would know if you needed help, and that can only happen if you have a way of sending word.

      Above all, just know that I sympathize with your concern.

  3. 🙂 What I love about this is IF Mona dies – never is the word “when” used – That’s the attitude!

  4. I’m glad all is okay with you and your world. Have missed you in the blogosphere.
    My parents are doing the same thing as you and are putting together documents etc. My mother has sooooo much stuff that needs to go to various family members that she is taking photos of them so that I won’t be confused when she is gone. I know it sound morbid to speak of but I guess planning for life’s events makes it easier on those left behind.

  5. You’re forgiven.

    tappersal@comcast.net
  6. No problem. Would you like some ideas about publishers I know?

  7. How could anyone stay mad at you?

  8. very interetsing topic, Mona… forgiveness… O.K. but how can you forget?!… I’d like to have a selective memory, but I don’t…
    friendly greetings and respectful regards, Mélanie

    • Forgive and forget is just plain wrong. Real forgiveness involves so much work it would be a shame to forget it. What we really want is to reduce the pain and confusion. OK. I won’t try to teach the course in one session — ’cause it can’t be done. I’m not in this to sell books, but I do care that people enjoy the relief of forgiveness. If you’re curious, check out my forgiveness books on amazon.com–under Mona Gustafson Affinito. And thanks so much for reading and responding.

  9. The grandfather (in his late 80’s) of one family I know recently died rather suddenly. He was fully rational until the last week, but never made a will. Although it will take months to itemize, clean and organize his home and the contents for an estate sale, it will all go to the government because there was no will. Simple treasures, like letters and photos, will likely not be divided between the two children.

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