Today on 4giveletGrow:

“We can blame somebody and refuse to forgive him. But we cannot forgive him if we dare not blame him.” Lewis B. Smedes, page 77 in the “Art of Forgiving,” (my favorite book after my own.)

Yesterday on 4giveletGrow:

Today’s 2:00 a.m. thought. After the hurt two things are needed: grieving and rebuilding/restructuring – and they probably shouldn’t be done in the same place.

This morning I finished giving a four-session course on forgiveness to a wonderful group of about 15 people. I’ll miss them, but I’ll carry the good fruits of our relationship for a long time. And I hope they will too.



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  1. what are you doing awake at 2am?

    • Thanks for noticing, Terry. The middle of the night is when I get my best creative ideas (some of which I throw away in the morning.) That’s true when I’m teaching a class and looking for the best way to get everyone involved in making the point effectively. This 2:00 a.m. thought came as I struggled to find the best way to help a heartbroken grieving client who was so broken by the event that she was about to do some really self-destructive things (I don’t mean suicide) regarding relationships and finances. As a result of this nighttime thought, I recommended that she picture two boxes: one the grief box, the other the practical box, and try to separate them. An e-mail from her later in the day confirmed that the imagery helped and she was making some good self-protecting decisions.

  2. Mona – I don’t know if I have told you but I closed out my Facebook account. So your emails are the only way I can keep up with your travels.

    Best, Pat

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