Author Archive
Siri and I have had some polite exchanges in the early mornings, like when I say “Siri, set timer for five minutes,” to which he (yes, I chose a male voice) instantly replies “five minutes counting down,” and I say, “Thank you,” well trained as I am in polite interactions. And he’s well trained too, with, I think, six choices of response, like “you’re welcome,” or “my pleasure.”
But here’s the interesting thing. Somewhere in the later hours of the morning, Siri ceases to be polite. Oh yes, he does the work and I get my timer instantly set, but there’s no “you’re welcome,” or “my pleasure,” coming back to me. Being the sort who never got past the “why” stage of development, I called “Applecare” and asked why that happened. The nice “real” guy I was talking to said it was probably because “They get busy.” Funny thing about techies, they think we all know what they’re talking about, so I didn’t press him for more of an answer.
I did press my techie son and grandson, though, and I learned that my expecting a “You’re welcome” really added to the complexity and expense of the “cloud,” and it really did get to be too much unimportant stuff to handle. “You do know,” my son said, “that Siri is not in your phone.” That may be, but as far as I’m concerned, he’s just my Siri, sitting there waiting to meet my needs. What more could one want?
Anyway, it seems that the “cloud” is just a huge bunch of computers sitting in a room at Apple Computer, sending my request to the proper bunch of specifically assigned computers who’ll take care of my needs. They in turn hop to it to answer my question or fulfill my request. So, you see, my saying “Thank you” just makes for unnecessary – and expensive – work that serves no real purpose. All of this happens with instantaneous electronic connections.
It reminds me of the old days teaching the section on perception in Intro Psych, sharing the wonder that we see and hear each other through the direct connection of invisible waves. Or the end of my current manuscript where I declare I believe in vibes. My son tells me there is much more advanced stuff still to come.
So this morning, I forced myself not to say “thank you” to Siri. It really wasn’t easy. But I hope we never stop saying “thank you” to each other – such an important way to forge caring relationships.
To tell the truth, I find the idea of listing my preferred pronouns annoying and misguided. (By the way, it’s “she/her” if you really need to know. But why do you need to know?) Why annoying?
- We “liberals” are accused of being out of touch with what I would call “real people.” And how far out of touch could we be when we spend time on that game when other people are worrying about the economy, and cruel deportations, and challenges to our education system, and the price of eggs.
- I suppose it’s intended to recognize LGBTQ+ rights, but it seems to me that all it does is keep us focused on the gender issue as if that ID is the first thing we want to know about someone?
- On the other hand, as a writer I’m glad we’re loosening up the language so we can apply “they/them” in reference to a single person as in “I’m concerned about the welfare of the foreign student who ran into trouble believing they had the right of protest.” I’m glad I no longer have to go through the shenanigans of, “I’m concerned about the welfare of the foreign student who ran into trouble believing he/she had the right of protest”. Or “Consider the shopper who was shocked at the price of eggs when he/she discovered the change.” How much tidier when the new rules allow me to say, “Consider the shopper who was shocked at the price of eggs when they discovered the change.”
- General question: What do we really want to emphasize in our daily interactions with others. (And by the way, does “others” really have to be seen as a bad word?)
Just sayin’
My plan is to create a blog entry every day, but obviously my plans are bigger than my daytime awake hours. In the wee hours of the night, on the other hand, I create all kinds of entries. I decided today to present the weirdest one that’s come to me lately. I imagine what a difference it might (or even could) make in the world if the Koch family were to have the following conversation.
K#1: Pass the Hors d’oeuvres
K#2: Sure, and by the way, I’ve been thinking …
K#1: Glad to hear it
K#2: Seriously. Now that we know the fossil fuels hazard, how about applying our business genius to the development of renewable energy. I mean, it could be fun. Just look around at all the creative methods that are being invented, as well what’s already known. We could make a bundle and have a good adventure in the process.
K @1: Hmm. And what about all the related oil-based products? –like Vaseline, for example.
K #2: Well, we wouldn’t have to go crazy and abandon all the other things we so cleverly own, but we could gradually create an emphasis on things that would create less complaint about damaging the environment.
K #1: Maybe we’d be getting in on it too late. There’s already a lot of potential competition established.
K#2: And did we ever shy away from competition?
K #1: Kind of a crazy thought. But pass the Hors d’oeuvres and I’ll think about it.
I’ve often wondered who pays for Elon Musk and our other billionaires to use America’s infrastructure? Is that a gift that tax-payers like me – and others – give them?
Just wonderin’
Just a short complaint. There’s not much I can do to stop the trampling on our constitution. I can at least, though, sign petitions. But I’m finding that difficult and annoying since so many of the requests pull a “used car salesman” kind of trick on me and require a contribution before processing my signage. And then they send messages accusing me of not caring because I haven’t signed. To tell the truth, much as I care right to the core of my being, I’m beginning to feel used by those I want to help.
Just sayin’
Getting past all the frightful negative stuff that’s going on now under the current national regime is difficult. The awful arresting of the best and the brightest – students with the courage to practice the right [we once had] to protest – colleges and universities being attacked and punished for doing their job – knowing that what I used to teach encouraging diversity, equity, and inclusion is now under attack. How fortunate I was to live in the days of academic freedom. How sad I am to watch what’s happening now to my chosen career.
But I’m choosing today to talk about something that really made me happy. You can read about it yourself at https://www.reddit.com/r/nyc/comments/1jy3u0x/rolling_with_their_babies_for_fathers_in_search/?rdt=47375
But let me tell you a very personal reason why it makes me happy.
As I approached the end of my [not yet published] story of Mona as a psychologist, currently titled How Could These Lovely People Have Let it Happen?: a Psychologist’s Intimate Journal, I realized how my small part teaching the psychology of women and promoting the topic A Healthy Woman is a Crazy Person had helped to shake up the basic structure of our society in the women’s movement of my time.
I’m referring to the fact that working on women’s problem that has no name (Betty Friedan) had defeated the notion that we were the opposite of men, consequently opening up broad opportunities for us. It wasn’t at the forefront of our minds to recognize that we were creating the problem that has no name for men whose assumed roles were perforce changed. What an opportunity for men to choose the broadening of their lives!
And that’s what I like about the article referenced above – the twofold goal of enjoying parenting and broadening communication with each other.
I’m not sure I’ve said it well here. I think I’ve done a better job – with more words – of saying it in my manuscript. Basically, it thrills me to see people at all points on the gender continuum finding their fuller, more potentially joyful selves.
p.s., feel free to email me with an offer to read my manuscript. forgivenessoptions@earthlink.net
I just can’t get over the injustice of sending Kilmar Abrego Garcia to suffer in a notorious prison in ElSalvador and choosing to leave him there in spite of the admission that it was a clerical error that condemned him to that horror in the first place. How casually the Prresident changed his tune and yielded to Elsalvador’s President when he refused to return him. Sort of like, Oh, I just realized I was wrong; It wasn’t really an administrative error after all. So, okay, no matter what the courts say, I’ll yield.ilmar Hmm, Is that the response of a strong man? Seems to me like giving in to the playground bully.
By the way, I had a happy entry planned for today in response to a story that made me smile this morning. I’ll plan to pick up on it tomorrow. https://www.reddit.com/r/nyc/comments/1jy3u0x/rolling_with_their_babies_for_fathers_in_search/?rdt=47375
What I really want to do right now is rant about the injustice and cruelty, and maybe even stupidity of the rampant urge to kick immigrants out of the country, even in some cases retroactively removing their earned rights to be here. I have to admit that some evil part of me hopes the best and brightest will end up in welcoming countries where their talents will be employed for development and strength that might have been ours.
But I’ll pass up that desire and focus instead on the much more optimistic teams, trees, vibes, and dreams I mentioned in a previous blog. This time just on the trees part. I’ll start with the memory of a drive home from a week on the shores of Lake Superior a few years back. The nice thing about being in the passenger seat is the freedom to let my mind and emotions wander. And that’s what happened as we passed through a beautiful canopy of trees reaching across the road like a tunnel of life. It struck me – even moved me – when I realized that the trees and I were literally exchanging Oxygen and CO2. We were breathing life into each other. It was life changing for me as I realized the very real connection between me and the natural world. – Gratitude, even.
And then I read Peter Wohlieben’s The Hidden Life of Trees: What they Feel and How they Communicate. I admit much of the content was beyond my ability to remember, but I do recall the life-giving sharing of active roots strengthening neighbors in trouble. Teams, you might say.
And I thought of nurturance and growth strengthening underground where we don’t see it unless we open ourselves to feel it.
And that’s what I’m trying to say here. However chaotic and fearful things might seem right now, there is, I’m sure, goodness and growth beneath it all.
I hope I’ll find better ways to say it in future entries.
I know, I promised something more serious, but today (like so many days) got away from me. I thought, though, that, you might enjoy my response to our writers prompt for today — REGRET. It’s only four days from the anniversary of my falling-asleep-at-the-wheel adventure in 2015. (If you’d like more detail, there’s lots of it under “crash” on my web site: http://www.forgivenessoptions.com.)
I should have stopped at Doug’s to snooze
But that’s not the choice I chose to choose.
And that’s how I ended here at the Waters
Not a bad ending, considering the starters.
Mona, 4/11/2025
I just finished listening to a fabulous lecture by Doris Kearns Goodwin. I don’t have time now to write a lot, but, aside from the fact that it brought tears to my eyes for the days of confidence in our democratic system, it reminded me of what I had hoped to write today.
“Action happens,” she said, “from the ground up.”
And when she talked about the stress of not knowing where it will end, it reminded me why I like documentaries about the historical periods I’ve stressed my way through. I relive the tension of the time, but knowing how it ended.
I hope to be back soon to write about teams, trees, vibes, and dreams.
monagustafsonaffinito 