Thanks to a fellow blogger who supplied this succinct statement.
“Forgiveness trumps vengeance, and reduces our stress as well.” I agree, but here’s my big question mark. If it’s true that our first reaction is to act with vengeance, then at what point does forgiveness trump it. After we’ve done something we’ll regret?
Dan Ariely addresses this in The Upside of Irrationality to which I referred in my last blog. His chapter 10 (pp. 257-280) describes the danger. “The Long Term Effects Of Short Term Emotions: Why We Shouldn’t Act On Our Negative Feelings.”
If the human impulse is to rush to vengeance, and if forgiveness trumps vengeance, what has to happen in between to prevent vengeance so the forgiveness process has time to work?
Count to ten? What has to happen to train us to do that? Suggestions? …
monagustafsonaffinito 
sure! first impulse of hatred: be aware of it – recognizing “there i go again” – BREATHE – choose to go through your preferred way of forgiveness-process – breathe again – repeat 🙂
Great! And it takes practice … Which means that it is possible for forgiveness to become habitual. In a way, I guess that’s my mission.