Some of my friends have requested that I write the story of my accident and its aftermath. It’s pretty much ready to go. When I think its ready, I’ll post the first few paragraphs here and then supply the link to the rest of it on my web site for those who are interested.
In the meantime, with the Sowers Gallery series complete, I thought I’d insert this review of “Figs & Pomegranates & Special Cheeses.” I am permitted to post it here, but it won’t show up on amazon.com.
(The review is a perk for entering the contest. I didn’t win or show.)
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Review of “Figs & Pomegranates & Special Cheeses.”
“Judge, 3rd Annual Writer’s Digest Self-Published eBook Awards.”
The synopsis is intriguing, although this “command” form – live, suffer, experience – sounds too much like a commercial. I also prefer the title “Mr. [sic] Job.”
Your use of language has an immediate flow and flavor reminiscent of the more poetic passages of the King James Bible.
Your powers of imagination are deep – envisioning, for instance, how that first day of married life must have been for her (33%).* The universal fear, for instance, that she will never be the kind of mother that she sees all around her. To tell the truth, I wanted to” 45% Funny! An intriguing argument, also. Good use of conflict.
Your descriptive powers are potent. Describing her pregnancy as a “heaving, jolting rock inside of me.” 56% * You also have the ability to portray inner monologues that remain interesting, which is quite a skill.
It’s odd, though, that it takes so long to get to the point of the story. The anthropological/cultural work is impressive, but you seem almost afraid to get to one of the best plot turns in history.
And that is heartbreaking when it arrives. “Surely now we can accept the bad fortune, too!” Very tough to live up to the world’s most patient man!
*Percentages refer to progress on e-reader.
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By the way, I (Mona) do think a major point of the story is Dara’s search for a resolution to the conflict created by Job’s demand issued sometime during her sixth pregnancy. (Nope. I’m not going to introduce a spoiler.)
monagustafsonaffinito 
Mona – once again I have been unable to post my comment. Please feel free to post the following if the other doesn’t get picked up.
Mona you should be proud of this review as the comments show depth in your writing, story and characters. While you didn’t win the prize, hopefully this will win readers. Good Luck. Pat Gitt
On Sat, Feb 27, 2016 at 2:12 PM, monagustafsonaffinito wrote:
> Mona Gustafson Affinito posted: “Some of my friends have requested that I > write the story of my accident and its aftermath. It’s pretty much ready to > go. When I think its ready, I’ll post the first few paragraphs here and > then supply the link to the rest of it on my web site for those wh” >
You did post your comment. Some poltergeist must be mischievously misleading you. Thanks for the good thought.
what did he mean, he prefers the title Mr.Job??
I think it’s a typo. I suspect he/she meant to write “Mrs. Job.” Remember that “Figs … ” is “Mrs Job re-edited, renamed, and re-covered. And thanks for reading and responding.
Glad you’re writing out of your accident and recovery experience. Interesting review. Does it cause you to go back and edit? BTW, on our earlier post about your original writing compared with the revised copy done by an editor, I kept finding the original superior to the editor’s “improved” manuscript. 😢There were a couple of nice additions, but….on the whole?
Oh no. “Figs…” has been edited to death — and to edit now would be to create a new book. I suspect I didn’t make it clear to the reviewer that the theme of Dara’s struggle to give up her goddess was a major part of the theme. Obviously that’s a failure of the book, but too late now.
As for comparing the two versions, first of all, thanks for taking time to read them. And now, I’m interested in your response. Do you think you could pinpoint in some way or some place what you preferred about the first version? I suspect there’s something to be learned there.
Not a bad review. Makes it interesting.
I agree. I thought it was pretty good, actually.