I can’t tell you how grateful I am that so many of you “liked” and/or commented on yesterday’s gratitude blog. Sometimes I get the lonely feeling that no one is seeing what I put out. Of course, I’m aware that I didn’t really put this out, but rather I passed it forward. Which obviously was a good idea.
Speaking of passing it forward. I remember years ago in Boston when I was in graduate school I decided one day to smile at everyone I encountered. Wow! What a result. Everyone smiled back. I mean, a real eye-crinkling smile. I suspect some of those smiles got forwarded to others.
I hope these bullet points stir up stories for yourselves and to share here with the rest of us.
I’ve been relying lately on the “Don’t be distracted by the negative news…” point. I remember taking a journalism course in High School where I learned that good, happy events rarely make news.That’s even more true today when news is mostly done in sound bites where bad news seems to fit easily. The good tends to be on-going, not fitting into one or two sentences.
The suggestion made by the Intelligent Optimist to read itself is more than just marketing. It’s one place to retreat and focus on the positive changes occurring in the world that sometimes seems overwhelmingly dangerous and destructive.
So, I’ve been listening to music more and watching TV news less – giving my brain a break.
It was a white leather-look jacket that drew me into the Christian based clothing store in town. “Hello, how are you?” the proprietor asked. “I’m fine,” I said, how are you doing? “Very well, he answered.” “Good,” I said. “That’s what you want when you’re in business.” “Obama says I didn’t do it myself,” he said. “He’s absolutely right,” I responded. “For example, your customers were able to get here because of the public roads and sidewalks, and the lights to see their way by.” That pretty much ended our conversation, but not my thoughts. Without public highways and roads, his business would have been extremely difficulty to maintain – if not impossible. And what of the harbors and ports maintained by the public by which he received shipments of his products. Or trade agreements with the countries who created the goods he bought … Oh, I think it’s a good bet he borrowed money somewhere along the way, or at least uses banks insured by FDIC. I’ll bet, too, that he relies on the postal service to some extent. And I assume he has a lavatory somewhere in the store, with efficient sewage disposal and safe running water in the sink for drinking. Given that his business is Christian-based, I’m pretty sure his beliefs and subsequent business choice depend upon experiences with others who set him an example and standard. Most likely his church had a guaranteed mortgage at one point. If not, it depended on the community getting together to support it.
It’s not all public funds that support his business. What of all the stores around him, helping to bring in business, and the newspapers that make it possible to advertise his wares. Then there’s all the support those other businesses receive from public funds. Just as his customers probably work for, have been employed by, companies who have relied on the public infrastructure for their success.
But let me get away from his situation and into mine. It is true that my parents saved for my college education – for which I feel tremendous gratitude. My college was supported – like basically all institutions of higher education, by endowments. And I probably would not have been admitted to my college had it not been for an excellent public education at all levels through secondary school. Then my graduate degrees. Yes. I worked very hard for them, but those institutions as well relied not only on endowments, but also on grants, many of which came from public funds. The very research that contributed to knowledge in my field depended largely on NSF grants. I can’t forget, as well, that my entire career as a professor was at institutions supported by public funds.
Yes, I can be proud of what I’ve accomplished, as can the proprietor of the store with the white leather-like jacket. But the pride has to be tempered by gratitude for all who have helped me – us- along the way.
“No man (woman) is an island.”
By the way, I didn’t try on the white jacket, much as I would have liked to. I just couldn’t afford it, even though it was worth the price. I hope others are grateful for whatever made it possible for them to try and buy. And I’m happy for the proprietor’s success. I want that store to be there for a long time to please me when I walk by, and occasionally buy.
From lush green nourished by a summer of rainfall to the heights of the Cliffs at Moher to the depths of a cave carved by ancient waters to barren land strewn with glacial rock deposits, the senses were caressed with calming gratification. One week in Ireland was not enough.
Either we were very lucky, or we brought with us the gift of sunshine to folks longing for an end to the rain. Whatever the reason, we enjoyed perfect temperatures in the 60s and 70s. And relaxation. I’ve come to realize that there are three factors that make traveling so restorative.
1) We leave behind the stress of daily negative news. (I learned in a course in journalism that good news doesn’t sell.)
2) The people tourists meet are all employed, resonating contentment.
3) While the news of joblessness in Ireland, as elsewhere, is tragic, we can take in the information without the pressure to feel responsible for casting and/or encouraging the corrective vote.
Our excursion guide was about the best we’ve every experienced, informative, fun, filled with enlightening stories about the country – the kind one might get sitting at the kitchen table over a cup of coffee.
We were directed to restaurants and pubs where we enjoyed delicious food – always accompanied by potatoes in at least one form. Yes, Gordon, I did have a glass of Guinness or two. And music, classical Irish and traditional.
The economic news was not good, reminding me, as always, of my gratitude that I can travel and enjoy such happy experiences. My joy would be complete if I knew such pleasurable calm were the world’s norm.
Mostly, it’s true what they say. Ireland is a wonderful place to visit.
I haven’t had time to download my photos. Eventually I’ll have something to post here.
I had many kind, thoughtful, and helpful responses to my question re contractions for Mrs. Job. The funniest, perhaps, was when I walked into a meeting on Tuesday and was greeted with “No contractions.” My response, “Who’s pregnant?” Great example, isn’t it, of the complex meaning and use of words.
The responses were not, of course, 100% supportive of any solution, but altogether they helped me to come up with an idea that the editor likes too, so we’re on the same page. Dara (young Mrs. Job) and her friend Adah will speak to each other in contractions until Dara gets married, at which point they will adopt the more formal/grown up elimination of contractions. It will serve as a subtle way to introduce the change in their relationship as they move on to being married women at a distance geographically and psychologically.
The responses were received not only here but also via some of the writer’s groups I enjoy on the web. Right now I’m feeling very well supported and cared for, and very grateful. Thanks.
I’m really not very good at experiencing joy. Happiness, sometimes, and yes to occasional satisfaction. But Joy? Today is an exception. Things have fallen into place for a couple of people I love and I am excited! It’s not my business to tell you who or what, but it is my business to tell you I love this almost indescribable experience.
If I were a good Minnesotan, I’d be claiming that my prayers were answered. Whatever the case, I am very grateful. And in the meantime, I’m enjoying some fun plans for myself! I hope these words may help to spread that feeling to some of you.
I Chose to change to this blogging service because I found it easier to comment on other people’s blogs who were using WordPress, but I’m not hearing from anyone, so I think I’m just blowing into the wind. Am I right? Is there something I can do to rectify it?
What I’m being is vulnerable, I guess. Which brings me to a great presentation of authenticity, shame, and vulnerability. Well, really about lots more. It’s thanks to Pastor Beth Warpmaeker who posted it on Facebook. I know I’m “not normal” as one complimentary friend said, so maybe I’m just weird to think it’s great. To me, though, it taps into so much about forgiveness. When I tried to explain to myself why it seems that folks can forgive terrible crimes, but the little things cause long term resentment, I arrived eventually at shame. That one is called stupid, or has one’s boyfriend stolen, or finds one’s children ignored, for example, suggests a deficit in oneself. Murder, on the other hand, is clearly the fault of the perpetrator. Shame doesn’t get in the way of deciding whether to forgive.
So now, I’ll be vulnerable and try to attach the link here. If you do choose to watch it, be prepared to spend some time. It’s not a quickie.
monagustafsonaffinito 